The love game has subtle, conspicuous and arrogant elements of selfishness from one or both parties in a relationship. Two people who have agreed to be in love may not be privy to each’s intent and purpose why they are into the affair. The cover-up blanket is that they are in love and they can be together until whatever puts them asunder. Scales can bet you a dime, this young lady can be so gaga she is getting married to this guy, kantsi kubalile lokwankalwane.
The woman has just finished college, freshly employed and whilst he may be working himself, he is counting unto her purse to fund in their household. Truth be told there shall be an underlying base of love between the two but the prime purpose yekumteka kutsi uyasebenta, he will financially lean on her.
Who knows, the man may not be employed himself vele nje ushada sondlo sakhe Manyatsi kulontfombatana webantfu. Others have married men or women because of their influential and even affluent family backgrounds. Whilst they may not be solid as a couple, one of them is counting on the family wealth and name for cover and providence.
Those who dwell so much on love analysis have often alluded that women will never love a man for nothing. There is something the man does for her better than any other masculine soul ever has. In that, she still embraces the idea to seek for another soul who shall give her even better than the incumbent.
Societal Scales here, during all this hidden selfishness in love, wonders if it is fair for a married man to date a woman because she is all the good his wife ain’t?
Mgagamane Fredrick Hleta was a well-known civil servant lenesitsembu sebafati lababili. People in Mbabane where he worked assumed he was a rare breed of Liswati that embraced equality, modernity and traditional life. The guy was neither happy nor well served by his wives, so he complained to closer friends. The first wife LaNgcamphalala was a housewife ahlala ekhaya eMgambeni.
She could do anything rural women were exposed to and would occasionally go to town kubabe or the other way round for the husband. Notwithstanding the fact that he had LaKhumalo as his second wife, he stayed alone in the huge government house.
His other wife was a professional medical doctor almost always caught between hospital corridors, surgical wards and international meetings. He could only see her on her availability in the country or in the house.
Mgagamane came across a beautiful lady, young, single and in the middle-class employment cadre – a civil servant herself. They dated and he spent most of his time with the woman. His wives ended up knowing about her by which time she had a third child with the guy.
He told friends and relatives, that’s where he got peace, love and respect and would feel like a man again. Here is a paradox, with an avalanche of positives he counted for the woman, he never got to make her his third wife.
When tragedy struck and Hleta wamkhumbula Nkulunkulu, the woman was left in the government house with four young children and various levels of school, nemabhantshi akhe lobabe kulendlu.
The family came to pick up tintfo takhe and had very little to say about the children. This was no doubt, like many similar cases, a selfish union that served one party and exposed the other as vulnerable.
You get to wonder, even today, why this good, beautiful woman has three children with one guy and they ain’t married. He gets what he wants and runs back to his wife!
The issue of sex in marriages is not only controversial but also volatile. Nobody has come up with a good manual, how often a couple should indulge, a day, a week, a month or a year in their married life.
Rumour has it that lots of partners ain’t happy with what they get in the house kukona lokukhuntfulutana lokwentekako. Women go and tell it on the mountain what a rabbit or a cockerel babe waDumbumuzi, a two-minute sprinter in bed. Husbands believe that the best of sex lies outside the marital sheets. For that reason, cheating in marriage by both genders is universal.
Your good wife will give it to another guy, cover it nicely, angatala neligoya in the act. Men do it with every woman out there who softens to their touch and run back home to the wife.
But then there is this guy who assumes, keeps and maintains a steady affair with this woman on account of good sex he gets there. Her house becomes his second place, he is there at any given moment for the sole reason to enjoy what he doesn’t with his wife. The latter is stiff back home, they have their wars and sexual kwashiorkor defines the way they are married.
Whenever he gets into the house of this woman tivele tishungulute tingene ekamerweni tibulalna kuphume lilanga.
However, the guy seems not to have any plan for the woman other than kumcumba phansi each time his desires hit their peak. This woman could be fighting tooth and nail with the guy’s wife for a tenure that has an unforeseeable end.
A certain gentleman went into a bank for a business loan wherein he met a brilliant young woman who took him through the financial paces to run a business.
One day, he invited the ‘financial advisor’ to the premises of his business and the woman impressed, albeit having a few but sharp ideas that could improve the engagement further. This bond created by business, soon extended itself to a deeper relationship where the two started dating – the lady was not married. Everyone could attest that, “Mantekelele Group of Companies was thriving under the new financial injection and supervision.” The guy would just not get married to the woman. To his friends and relatives, he lauded her acute financial acumen, her sharp eye for business and shrewd decision making.
However, he decried her thick headedness as a woman and would not cower even at the fiercest of the battles, arguments and quarrels.
The man was keeping the woman for her shrewdness in business and never for the person she was.
He had fought many times with his wife over this woman, yet he would not let go of her. The question is, are males being fair on the fairer gender that they would keep their wives in the backyard and enjoy something the latter cannot give from another soul?
The balance of the matter is that the abused woman, oftentimes than not, would be looking forward to the guy extending a permanent union gesture to her.
She would love to grow together with him even if it means coming to the stable as a second wife.
The man’s selfishness can be covered up with expensive gifts, holidays or introducing the other woman to some members of his family. That still does not make a legal spouse notwithstanding konkhe loku lokuhle nalokumnandzi lakwenta kona lomntfwanebantfu!
