Societal Scales can bet you a dime that there are still very good women out there, matured enough to take a well calculated risk and get married to a three-legged warm human body and call her a husband lahlanganiswe naye ngemtsetfo longcwele.
These women do this every weekend available and commit themselves, not because of what the man has or had, but verily believing in what he potentially is apt to become. Of course, she would have studied his traits and efforts aggregated to win her heart even to such a commitment and draw a conclusion that angaphila naleskelem in the future and raise a family.
Look, at his youthful stage a man can be crazy and undecided because for starters, he has other girlfriends he may not even have ditched now that he is getting married. That kind of guy cannot be trusted because angabuyela etintfombini takhe.
However, if the guy asks if she could be his wife, openly shows himself to her people, commits to the relationship and may even pay lobola njengalabafana basesontfweni then she can commit to the future with the guy. He could have just scrambled through his meagre savings; others have accrued bank loans and with little assistance from the family livele liphumel’ebaleni lijaha limshade noma limteke LaMalambe. That is huge, women love that consolidated effort and that is exactly what they get married to: a man who has promise to be somebody of status and her husband in the future, holding all other disruptive social factors constant.
In the event a woman reads unduly behaviour from a man she is dating she quickly draws the conclusion that the guy cannot be a good husband and will not agree to be married to him.
Every young man at Ntfonjeni envied this young doctor, Macalaza Tsela, who was dating a beautiful young woman in the village called LaBooysen for she was of mixed blood. The would-be groom who never was, worked as a doctor in a local hospital whilst his would-be bride who never became was a scientist. Not only the guy’s family but also the community knew that akusansuku zatshwala lalababili bangakashadi.
One day lentfombi iyojuma lekaLomshiyo, small children came into the room and started telling stories about lelisoka lakhe, which disturbed her. Upon further investigation, she confirmed the stories to be true. Now, when the guy proposed to her, she utterly refused to be engaged and married to the guy. She learnt that prior to meeting her, he had been dating a local girl in the village with whom he begot a child.
The story was to the effect that wamlahla losisi kanye nalomntfwana. Even though he was in a good earning bracket he never took care of his child so much that mother and child were destitute. The said child is rumoured to have been a regular visitor ekhayakubo and she was a sorry sight. On that account Miss Booysen refused kuba ngumfati wadokotela longondli. She categorically made it known that angeke avume ngushada indvodza lehluphekisa umntfwanayo newesifazane leyakeyameyama ecansini. No amount of convincing swayed her otherwise, the relationship was severed.
Potentially, the man failed all pointers and tests he could be a good husband according to the standards of this lady. A lot of promising relationships have collapsed wherein the woman would have realised that the guy may not develop in any way to the kind of husband she would love to have.
From the onset, a good woman wouldn’t mind that the guy she dates has an (other) girlfriend(s). Actually, she is going to measure herself against his other relationships where she stands with the guy. Tiyati tintfombi tenu Mfofobeti kutsi niganwe ngulabanye. In that clustered relationship, she believes she will agree to marry you should you come forth and make the proposal.
She is not, in any way, along the way be accusing you of cheating her with the other woman. She knows she ain’t your wife as yet and verily believes when the time is right you shall ask for her hand in marriage if she is the one you get to choose. By their nature, no matter how women can be in love with their boyfriends, they never close their options to flirt, open up to other masculine proposals lest the incumbent disappoints them.
Whilst she may not necessarily be in another relationship, there is that guy lurking in the shadows who would swoop on her like a raven in the event you falter. Abacaleli phansi kaZero bantfu besifazane when a current relationship fails. Instead, they fall back to the guy whose contacts have long been in their cellphones and whose company they may have enjoyed even over coffee whilst they were dating you. The girls you are dating are clandestinely competing to win you to marriage, and they may not tell you that.
So long as you harbour the potential to be the husband she aspires for in the future, she will agree to be your wife tikhona, futsi atati letintfombi takho letinye. It would appear, Scales has been made to believe, she gloats better when she has been chosen over the others, especially kunayi intfombi yakho beyimulwisa kakhulu. Confident women ain’t scared of competition, if they love the man and can map his potential to be a good husband akunendzaba kutsi uganwe ngubani lomunye.
Some women by their nature want to marry big for they want a man of influence, levels, education, and good social standing. She may not have seen that when you get married in your twenties because you are still a rookie in your political party, a novice in your career and an upstart in business.
However, from your good marks academically, your tenacity in exerting yourself which sets you apart from men of your age, your faith in the Lord and your passion in career convinces her you are destined for wuthering heights. She is coming unto this union fully-fledged to support you reach your potential. Like your mother, your wife may see in you a Cabinet minister, a businessman of note, a scholar or a Man of God who shall move mountains in spreading the Gospel. It just depends on what she foresees you to be hence she agrees to be married to you mfanáwakitsi.
Think of Mntontomeli Ndzinisa, an acute economist, he ended up leaving the confines of the country to assume a prestigious job in New York. In his appreciation he was ever placing his wife LaMatsenjwa at the centre because she had ever believed in him. From their university days the lady admired not only his brilliance but also his sheer dedication and hard work in pursuance of excellence in the economic field of study. Whilst she was a scholar herself, she knew her boyfriend was destined to be great, and she wouldn’t hesitate kuvuma kuba ngumfati wakhe.
The reverse of this narrative is sad for some men have failed to shine in marriage albeit the promise they held earlier on. Some have drenched themselves in alcohol and got to lose it all, their wives inclusive!
