Societal Scales believes all women make fervent prayers, be they loud, in church, clandenstine or deep in their hearts. The belief is further laden with the fact that they don’t need to be repented to pray especially if they are mothers and amongst their children there are boys.
In a matter of balance, it would seem to Scales that as offsprings, boys are significant to their mums than they are valuable sons to their dads. For the latter they only need to carry forward that biological lineage, yet a boy can be so attached to a mother he can easily forget he has a masculine figure for a parent too.
Now, growing up, as the boy child ventures into the world in pursuance of say education, life itself and fun, naughty as boys are, the mum’s prayers are that he comes back to her in one piece and safe. She is aware of all the dangers out there and has comforted other women having tragically lost their sons. She prays to God her son is spared from such atrocities.
But Boy George! There is another prayer, emanating from fear your mother will never stop making to the Almighty. It is about the woman you will meet when you come of age and ultimately want to get married to. She is certain from the moment she makes this prayer that she doesn’t like that woman whosever and wherever she is. If things went her way, you wouldn’t, as her son ever meet that woman for, she verily believes ute kutobehlukanisa nine as mother and son.
The world over, especially our society has watched these battles between feminine with very little hope it shall ever come to an end.
Speaking, you are in conflict with your mum because of the woman you are married to make WaMsimisi!
You will never know how vindictive, hateful, spiteful and satanic your very mother is until you introduce to her a woman to her, with an intent and purpose to marry when the dreaded time finally comes and everyone in the yard is happy kutobonwa intfombi yakho, she becomes cold like the Harmattan season ahambe nalomntfwanebantfu ativela nje kutsi akumfuni lokwamake lokwa nogal.
Banongile Tfwala came to would-have -been in-laws who never became in the company of her sister and two friends from the church. The young man whose people she had come to see was a youth president in the umbrella church and they were both keen to do things by the scriptural book. She was a fair woman, tall and educated and well placed in the corporate world but the would-be mother-in law just didn’t like her.
After introductions, wabuta kanengi lomake kutsi ngumuphi lowaThembela and when they emphasized it was Banongile she wondered, “Hawu, akusasuye nanangu wengubo lebovu?” with an obvious disdain on her face. The embarrassment was unbearable to all in the space.
Later in the day they were embroiled in a heated confrontation with his son asking him kutsi akamboni yini kutsi skelmlontfombatana. The tensions went on until the would-have been bride decided kumala lomfana ngendzaba yekutondvwa ngunina. That did not improve the relationship between mother and son for the longest of times. Eventually, he realised that from his mother’s perspective, no woman was ever good to be his wife.
Potentially, marital associations have been tattered and severed at courtship and engagement stages because some mothers have been so powerful, vindictive and influential, their sons bavele babuyele engonweni, umfana ayomunya kunina ayale lentfombi abefuna kuyenta umfati.
Your mother may be out-voted and out-influenced by certain members of the family that you may go ahead and marry the woman you had destined to. The battle may have been won but the war would still be raging on.
Gogo Mtondzile Ndzinisa wala waphetsa kuphuma endlini kuyobukwa tinkhomo letatiyolobola LaManana, her son’s upcoming bride. No number of discussions between herself and her husband could change her mind that even on the wedding day, wavukela emasimini until her eldest daughter forcefully brought her to the venue. She came agcoke leticatfulo lokutsiwa ngemabhova.
When your mother hates your wife, she is not going to be nice to you either notwithstanding the fact that you have shared a wonderful relationship all along. She accuses you of being naïve, blinded or bewitched by your wife and that you have changed, awusati muntfu nje lakhanya, naye lucobo njengemake wakho.
In the same wavelength your wife attacks you for being soft on your mother abe amhlupha kangaka for everyone to.
When Zitsile gave birth to their second child another boy, her mother-in-law got to like the child very much and would carry him on her back all day long. Just when she thought their relationship was improving, she was shocked at the new missile of attack on her person. Lomuntfu lomdzalawas accusing her kutsi lomntfwana wekucala akasiye walakhaya.
This divided the entire family because others found it a blatant lie whilst others started to doubt the paternity of the guy’s first-born child. Of course, that caused a strain between husband and wife, and paternity tests had to be conducted. It was their child after all. Still salukati salelikhaya was just not remorseful and eventually mother and son had to part ways.
Not only have many mothers crossed path with their sons’ wives, bacabene nabona labafana babo for life for they will never accept he is grown up enough to make his choices.
In deep conversations with a benign lady, Scales was schooled into believing that as women mothers have sharp, deep and extremely discerning instincts. Those conflicts therefore at times, ain’ t meant to frustrate you as her son but to protect you from the ‘monster’ blinding you with love! She would have made a quick check on her character, family background and realised she ain’ t good for you as her son. Or you come subdued for a husband, uyabona nje kutsi uyondvonswa ngemhumulo lapha.
Mthuthuzeli gave in a lot to his wife’s demands which had no boundaries even sebasekhaya eSitfobelweni. This day his wife Sebe, brought umntfwana kutsi amgcebe into fresh nappies for the baby had soiled herself. She claimed she was busy on the phone to do it herself. Many felt even if it was habitual between the two of them lesilungwini sabo, it was inappropriate lakhaya phambikwe batali. The mother in- law sprang into action, reprimanded makoti and from that confrontation kwatekwa tindzaba letinengi letatikhomba kuhlupheka kwalo lelijaha lakaMetfula.
When some marriages ultimately fail, some mothers are proven to have been correct all this time to ever be questioning similo salomlobokati.
The best guy in the sporting field, the cracker in the Science and Maths field or a man who excels anywhere gets his first challenge when he must balance and strike a healthy relationship between his mother and is wife. If he is not careful, he apt to lose one or both in a conflict interaction.
Mothers may feel no woman is good enough for their sons whereas would-be or actual wives want full control over the guy they would be married to.
